Many volunteers go abroad with the white savior complex, expecting to save the world and create a radical change the country they go to. Frankly, before coming here I expected to have a more significant impact than I am currently having. It also doesn´t help that I am constantly sick and bedridden at least once a week since I´ve come here. That said, the culture with my provider, Projects Abroad, is definitely that our projects are our jobs. Every morning I say goodbye to my host mom telling her ´voy para el trabajo´, not ´voy para el centro´. Success is measured as simply meeting deadlines, getting the tasks of the day done well and on time. I am not sure exactly how I feel about that. On one hand, I am dissapointed that the majority of my time is spent just doing basic things such as measuring out food and cleaning dishes rather than finding new and innovative solutions to the crisis that is being experienced here in Bolivia. To a certain degree, I feel as if this has become a mode of complacency, that the bare minimum is done day to day to make sure the kids are well fed, cleaned, and the mothers educated about nutrition. But, after 15 years of the center doing exactly this every single day for 365 days a year and there being little to no difference in the amount of kids suffering from malnutrition at any given time inside of the center makes me feel as if we are just alleviating the symptoms not the disease. I am frustrated that I have become complacent with just helping develop nutritional lectures or washing dishes or rationing food. Currently I measure my success by how well I have done to help the nurses cooks and nutrional students do their job well and fast. Did I actually help this person or did I give them more work? How much faster did they finish the work they had to do had I not helped them? Did they appreciate my help or were they indifferent to my presence?
My daily successes have minimal impact over their overall success, frankly. With or without me the job will get done. I don´t believe I am making any significant difference here on the job, other than simply acting as a cultural ambassador and offering smiles and help where accepted. The place I am making the biggest difference is honestly when I am working with my friends who do not speak good spanish and becoming the unofficial translator. I should start charging for how much I am translating, since it makes up the majority of my day outside of work.